3 Simple Steps to Managing Difficult Children - Bon Bon Tresor
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3 Simple Steps to Managing Difficult Children

by Trish Koudounis November 26, 2013

Difficult Children
Difficult children can make parents feel angry, anxious, sad and afraid. Parents can begin to doubt their parenting skills when difficult children through tantrums and refuse to see reason. However, parents should understand that difficult children are merely trying to project their internal chaos and feelings with their behaviors. Such children tend to push away people and try and control others around them. They do not want to hurt anyone deliberately; they are just displaying a defensive behavior and acting out their internal pain. Rather than get angry and mad at your difficult child, just follow these three simple tips to prevent the situation from getting out of hand and turning into a bigger mess. 

3 Steps
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1. Anger is not the solution: When your child is highly strung and having a tantrum, take a step back and calm yourself. This is not the time for you to get angry or hostile towards the kid. A difficult child will feed off anger and hostility. So why empower the child? Instead respond without anger and try to reason with the child. If the child is still defiant, do not take it personally. Use calming techniques to diffuse the defiance and your child’s hostility. This is a much better option than anger and confrontation.

2. Let your child feel the consequences: It is important for difficult children to experience consequences of their actions. You can scream at a difficult child, but it will have no effect. It will cause the child suffering and make the child even more defensive. Instead concentrate on making them pay for the damage caused. This payment could be monetary or additional chores. Once the child begins to realize that each tantrum has a consequence, he or she will stop and think before throwing one.

3. Teach the child expected behaviors under normal-situation: It is necessary that your child learns to respect your authority. This will not happen during a temper tantrum. Hence, during non-stressful periods, make sure that your child speaks to you politely and respectfully. Do not have a discussion with your child until the child learns to respect your authority. The child must learn to give appropriate responses rather than shrugging or eye-rolling. Teach the child breathing techniques that will help him or her calm down in a stressful situation. Speak to the child in a loving manner about his or her behavior and explain why it is not acceptable.


Trish Koudounis
Trish Koudounis

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